What should I do?????

I am an abuse survivor having endured years of ual abuse as a child. To make things even more heinous, my step-father had abused me with animals and videoed ual activities involving me with dogs andother animals. I thought I put that all behind me. I grew up, got married, and found a good career. We even have pets in the house. Recently, I have started having ual thoughts when our house cat sits in my lap. I immediately shew it away but the impulse to grab it ually is getting stronger. The other night, while petting our german sheppard, I let my hand ride a little low and kept it there a little longer than I should have. The dog didn't seem to mind, however. I really don't want things to go any further and I want help. Should I speak to a therapist or a vet?